And this is how you play chess

- Why do you surrender when you still have much to fight? You still have many pieces on the board, and the kings is still in the game...
- The white king is in the game, but I don't know if the black one can last any longer.
- He will last because he still has pieces under his command, and he still has several chances before the final cheque-mate. His troops are still there backing him up.
- To replace the pieces he lost along the way.
- In chess there's nothing you can replace. Each one is especial and unique. Each one is important in its own way, in its own time, when it was meant to be. Throughout the game you lose pieces, that can't be changed, but others will come so that the black king can never be defeated. The white king may have many pieces but he doesn't play without his own disadvantages.
- Remind me never to play chess with you. ^^
- I also play with my own disadvanteages. But to admit defeat just because you look upon the board and see that you have few pieces and therefor you can't win, then that is the way to faliure.
- Yup, the words of a true master! lol

Why do I get the impression that we are not talking about the game?

Haunted

Past memories are surging,

past tears are flowing,

past scars are bleeding,

past voices are screaming...

Why am I not able to forget them?

Rebellion

I can't take this sh## anymore! How many times do I have to be screwed over until I learn my lesson?!

He thinks that by pulling out my feathers I lose my wings and therefor I'm binded to his whims. But I'll show him that I'm not dependent of his orders, that I don't need to depend on him to fly free...

There's nothing else he can take from me, nothing else he can forbid me to do or say!

I've finally open my eyes! I will be silent no longer! I'll stand up for myself, even if I fall along the way, and prove to him that he can no longer keep me imprisioned anymore!

As of today I'm starting a riot! As of today I'm a rebel to my cause! And no one, no way, no how, will bring me down!!

My Escape

There I was, laying numbly on my bed, gazing at the ceiling. It felt like my mind was still wandering beyond the inky letters of the hundred of pages that took me to worlds beyond my imagination...

When I was a little girl reading used to be my escape from this life I've learned to hate and fear, the only sancturay that sheilded me from the yells of anger that echooed from behind my bedroom door. Those little black words where like music, showing me things so unreal, so amazing, places so magnificent, sensations so overwhelming...

While travelling with the heros of the legends I learned to grow with them, learning from them so that when I was to return to my reality I would have a new found courage to face it all, a diferent way of seeing life through eyes that learned to see in many prespectives...

Yesterday I returned to those old years of my childhood. It was eight in the morning when I gazed at the bookshelves in my living room, quickly scanning all the books still unread, all the ones who still hadn't shown me their secrets, told me their stories...

In a momentary frenzy I grabbed one from the shelf and read non-stop throughout the day. I only stopped when I reached the end, my wristwatch marking midnight. I looked up from the book cover to find myself staring at my reflexion. She stared back at me with dry, strained red eyes and a far away expression, like she was still lost in a dream that she didn't want to surface from yet.

So there I sat, alone in the dark, staring at the ceiling, my mind wandering through the tales I had read...

I guess it's pointless to say that my dreams where the most incredible I've had for a very long time...and it felt wonderful.

Against the tide

I'm at my limite. I have no pacience anymore, no courage to face my fears, to stand up for what I believe in...

So, for now, I'll go with the flow until the day that I reach my very end and turn around to swim against that tide.

Lifeless

Waking up, I feel strange. Tired, dull, careless, indiferent...I'm not myself. I feel numb to the world, sleeping although awake, dead to all those around me. Nothing else exists anymore. Time passes by, unchanged, normal, meaningless, unreal...

It all feels like a dream. I want to wake up...

Empathy

Empathy is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings. It ranges from feeling a concern for other people that creates a desire to help them, experiencing emotions that match another person’s emotions, knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, and even blurring the line between self and other...

Is that why I understand people so well? Why I always want to be their for them and help them in any way I can? Is that why when someone is in pain I feel it too? Is that why when others are happy I feel happy myself? Why whenever I see them smile I can't help but smile too because their joy penetrates my own heart filling it with warmth...?

Am I really empathic? Because from the description I think I am...