Minor Set Back

Last time I cried this hard was when I had a nervous breakdown in January 2010. There's no point in my reckless crying for there's nothing I can do. It is something only time and patience can heal. And yet despite that knowledge I still feel like I've let myself down, that I didn't amount to anything. All this time slaving myself and for what? Did I really accomplish anything? Its just a minor set back, I keep repeating to myself and all the while I'm wondering how my mother will react to this. She sacrificed so much both physically and mentally for me and my sister to be the best that we can be. How am I going to look her in the eye now? I work hard and study harder, I swim against the tide and still it pulls me back, as if mocking me. Can I really be someone? Can I ever be somebody in this world? You're a strong woman. You'll get through this. I force this belief upon myself as I utter it over and over in soft whispers under my sheets, the tears flowing onto pillow in the dark room. I have faith in myself, and I believe in that strength. But can I really do it?

One more year, one more year...Its just a minor set back...