Emotional Reck

"what's been going on with you? You've been very nervous lately. You're not eating well, and your grades are slipping...Are you even sleeping as you should? Don't cry! Please! Talk to me. What's going on?"

I could hear her voice on the other line raising steadily in concern but I couldn't get myself to say anything. What was I going to tell her? That the reason I'm not eating well is because I've been losing my apetite. Or the reason I can bearly get a good nights sleep is because my mind is so full of questions and doubts that my dreams become nightmares. That the reason I'm nervous is because I'm scared to death...
I find myself crying more and more as the days pass and the pressure begins to build. I still haven't written the letter although they have told me that it would be better if I did. Part of me wants to write it but another part of me - a more dominant and stubborn part - thinks that I shouldn't. I mean what am I going to write?

I thought everything was going as planned but as the day gets nearer and nearer and things start to change I can't help but struggle along with it...

"Please don't cry, or you'll make me cry too! Sweetheart... are you still there?"

There were so many things I wanted to say to her and yet there was so many more that I didn't...